Aikido Coaching

By Juan Riboldi, DecisionWise Partner

A few weeks ago I was teaching coaching skills to a group of new managers at a fast growing company. Working under intense deadlines and high pressures, these managers could hardly imagine when they would find time for coaching, let alone practice attentive listening and questioning skills. They were essentially telling me, "There's no time for pleasantries, we just need to stay focused on getting the job done." One of them concluded, "It's a matter of survival."

In our increasingly fast-paced society, we may wonder if coaching is just a "nice to have" and not necessarily an essential skill for survival. As we contemplated this, I decided to step out of the office environment for a moment and into the martial arts dojo to demonstrate the practice of Aikido as it relates to coaching.

History of Aikido



Ai = harmony
Ki = power or energy; life force
Do= way
The Japanese martial art of Aikido traces its origins back to the 14th century. The modern form of Aikido was developed early in the 20th century by Morihei Ueshiba. Ueshiba is described as a small, but extraordinarily strong man. He was widely respected among martial artists, and often referred to as "O-Sensei," or "Great Teacher." He continued to practice Aikido, give demonstrations, and instruct students until his death in 1969, at the age of 86. Combining his mastery of several martial arts, such as jujitsu and spear fencing, with his dreams for peace and unity, he further developed this relatively new martial art.

Aikido is based on the philosophy of creating harmony by mastering oneself and respecting another's energy. Aikido is quite unique in that it has no formal technique for attack. Instead, Aikido teaches how to overcome conflict through minimal resistance and provides ways for a defender to redirect an attack, thus avoiding injury to themselves as well as their opponent. Translated literally, Aikido means "the way [do] of harmony [ai] with the life force [ki]"

Aikido Technique
Unlike many fighting techniques that focus on defense while disabling the opponent, Aikido focuses on finding unity. The intent of Aikido is not acquiescence, but to establish a relationship of peace in the face of conflict. It requires a keen awareness of oneself and the environment. Rather than assuming a fighting posture and reducing the amount of exposure to the opponent, Aikido teaches us to face the opponent openly. Standing with confidence, the Aikido master (Sensei) makes eye contact with the opponent, and gets ready to move with the opponents' energy, rather than countering his moves. As the Sensei respects the other person's power, they move together in ways that result in both people facing in the same direction. With each blow, more energy is spent by the attacker than by the Sensei, leaving the Sensei with increased power, and the other person exhausted.

Watching the practice of Aikido looks more like a graceful dance than a fight. The subtleness of the movements gives the impression that muscles are not being worked hard. Unlike other martial arts, Aikido rarely involves kicks and punches. Thus, the movements do not cause undue stress on the body. However, Aikido is not passive. Aikido can be a devastating martial art, where the master learns to anticipate, position, blend, and diffuse the impact of oncoming attack. The confidence comes from self mastery and from respecting others. The strength comes from connecting with the surroundings rather than resisting.

Aikido and Coaching
Aikido teaches several principles that have direct implications to coaching and learning from feedback. The following list summarizes Aikido principles we can use in human relationships:
  • Know yourself. Be more self-aware.
  • Lead with harmony. Move with balance.
  • Respect the other person's mind (energy).
  • See things from their point of view.
  • Blend with the opponent's energy. Be flexible.
  • Do not counter with resistance.
  • Connect with your surroundings.
  • Extend your energy with confidence.
How can we apply the Aikido principles in day-to-day interactions? And, more importantly, how can these principles help us achieve better results?

Resisting feedback requires emotional energy. Rather than focusing on the goal of how the feedback will help us become better, our energy is wasted on resistance. We become weaker, rather than stronger, when we resist. Instead, we should focus our efforts on how best to use the energy (feedback). We should ask questions and listen to better understand our environment, what effect we have on those around us, and what effect they have on us. Accept the feedback with confidence, simultaneously respecting others' points of view. As you act and blend in response to feedback, maintain balance. As you flex and bend in response to feedback, you remain in balance. As you learn and grow, you gain power and confidence.

When faced with a difficult and sensitive situation, it may take additional time to practice coaching using Aikido principles. However, if you ignore issues and plunge ahead assuming that others are on board, when they are in fact resisting, it will likely take a lot longer to recover. Leaders that practice coaching using Aikido principles can diffuse potential problems before they escalate. It also saves precious time in the long run.

"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power."
~ Lao Tzu